Taboo

Pounding Heart

Sweating

Trembling

Increases Respiration

Cold Feet

Nausea

Insomnia

This is what they characterize as 'Anxiety'.

More or less, on the lines of this

But there are things that they don't diagnose

They don't tell you that along with a pounding heart

There are millions of thoughts racing in your head

Faster than the speed of any physical particle

Some warm and comfortable,

Most of them just pure evil

It's like the voice in the head that we hear,

Only you lose control over the voice

It has a brain of its own

And it tells you things

Things that you know are not true and in no way going to happen

But there is absolutely no off switch

I'm stuck, thinking like this

As long as the voices want me to

For the time, I'm at their mercy

They don't tell you with all the sweating and trembling

Comes the fear of people

I can't stand the sight of people

Friends or even family, I just disappoint everyone

Or so I'm forced to think

Maybe it's true maybe it's not

I have no idea how to differentiate

They don't tell you with the Increased Respiration,

I fail to do anything I want to do

I can't even get out of bed for long periods

I just lie in one spot and try to not die

This seems okay at first glance but

When you're on your bed and you feel like drowning

It's really not the best feeling in the world

They don't tell you with the cold feet

Comes the inability to know when you're feeling anxious

And when you're just having a low circulation of blood flow

There are times when I have no idea what I'm supposed to think

My mind goes absolute blank

I'm stuck there in a void of emptiness

Looking at the world from outside

Trying to blend in but the fear of people saying

"Do they really want to be with you?"

They fail to tell you that Insomnia and Nausea aren't common

And it's not just the inability to sleep completely

I can't even remember the time when I woke up

And it felt like today is going to be my day

Confidence has always been self-made, fake thing

That I keep with me to act human

The fact is I don't hate people

It's the complete opposite.

It's the people who hate me and I can't seem to let go of that feeling

I've had days when I wanted to cry

But I couldn't

I can't seem to think for myself anymore

I'm observing and forcing people to think on my behalf

I just wish this ends

Today, Tomorrow, Next Week

I just want this to end.