The Smallest Epiphany

I don't know how I met you

I don't even remember locking eyes with you

Or being mesmerized with your story

I don't know how I know you

Then why is it that I feel so attached to you

Is this some otherworldly God-like creature

Telling me to read you

Or is it me from the future changing my past events

To make me fall in love with you

Either way, I don't know how I came across you

But I just have one question

How did you do it, Aisha?

After the amount of physical torture that I can comprehend

And the mental torture I can't

How did you have the will to continue?

Why didn't you end it all sooner?

Make it easy for you and your loved ones too

How did you have that will to live?

I've been with your epiphanies

Reading them I realized, I've had quite a few of them myself as well

But in those words, in those sudden thoughts

I can't find your reason to live

Was it love? Or the spirit of those around you?

Or was it just pity for yourself?

I can't seem to find either of that lately

It's not that I don't have it or I'm too busy with myself

I'm just numb to these thoughts

All of them touch me and move away every so slightly

I can't think of anything

All I have in my mind is probabilities

Probabilities of people going away

Probabilities of me going away from people

Probabilities that I'll meet new people and I'll ruin everything

I can't comprehend being around people

I had many epiphanies over time and I couldn't write them all down

Hence this long one instead

Your epiphanies helped me in many ways and I can't thank you enough for it Aisha

Most of all you taught me the word epiphany. Now I can be all cool amongst people.

Will you meet me someday Aisha?

Or should I call you Aisha didi? I've been in the habit lately.

I do have a lot of questions for you and I think most of them I'll get the answer to myself

Is heaven real? Is God really a being? If ye is then does ye exist in a 3D form?

Or do we just transcend to an upper energy dimensionless form?

Are we gods ourselves?

I think it makes sense. It explains why and how I landed upon you.

(Not physically)

It also explains why I can't find a trace of buying a piece of you

Or why I can't remember ever asking mom for you

I think it was me who convinced myself

Maybe after meeting you in the afterlife. ( As a God?)

Whatever it is, I'd like to thank you, Aisha

Thank you for MY little Epiphany!